in class i’m used to sitting in the back and making all these smartass comments under my breath
now i’m in the front though so when our attractive instructor drops something and says ‘ah, fuck me!’ and i say ‘maybe later’ he hEARS ME AND LAUGHS GODFUCKING FUCK
the saga continues today in physics when our instructor asks ‘and how fast does light travel?’ and i whisper ‘hella’ and the kid next to me fucking loses it
we live in a world where the pizza arrives faster than the police
Well the pizza driver faces consequences when their job isn’t done right.
[gently and kindly reminding you that someday someone is going to look at you and finally understand every sappy love song they’ve ever heard]
clothes should not be considered on sale if they’re still more than $20
My friend’s dad used to work on Kim Possible and one time we went with him to work and I remembered how a classmate of mine had asked me once why Bonnie’s boobs were round and Kim’s were pointy so I asked my friend and her dad walked in and my friend immediately spun the question on him and I was like no wait stop but without even blinking he just said ‘because Kim’s are real’